I’m writing you today because lately I’ve been feeling pressure from every side.
I’ve been trying to fix a lot of things,
Making things make sense.
I’ve been trying so hard God,
I know I should be letting go and letting you
But deadlines staring me in the face
I don’t know what to do.
Dear God, can you please calm this storm within me?
You know sometimes faith becomes work,
And doubt crawls in like ivy
Forcing its way into the smallest cracks of my defenses,
When that voice keep saying:
“No you can never get this”
When the fear of “what ifs…” Rears its head like the afternoon sun coming through a stained glass window,
When I struggle with the need for control.
Give me strength and remind me I am not in this alone!!!
As the day goes by
My needs keep piling.
So am wondering,
Should I keep asking?
The more I keep asking the more I keep wanting.
Its so confusing.
I know sometimes I don’t deserve all that I ask for
Because I keep failing you
But I need you
I need you like a thirsty pilgrim
I need you God
I need you in all this.
Finally dear God,
How have you been?