I want to lose my uncertainty

  I want to bury my doubts,

  I want to taste a love that lasts

  And make a living through hope,

  I want to run towards my fear

  And give my dreams wings.


  I want to run towards something

  Not away.




    I have always enjoyed solitude. Taking long strolls in quiet neighborhoods or just sitting alone and thinking. I love being awake in the darkness dwelling on the peace and quiet the night time brings. My mind is always on an express trip going beyond the present and visible. Often times i’m an emotional mess,I have to take time away to regroup.

     A couple of days back my mind became a tangled mess freestyling into nothingness, my schedule was too busy for a stroll and my nights became noisy so I went to a place I knew somehow I would find the peace that I sought.

    One of the reasons I love going to the scriptures is because its so relatable.

    So I opened up a psalm to read, it was like the words came to life jumping right at me. You see, this was a psalm I had read a couple of times but somehow on that day it got me like “for real?”,”How did you know what I was thinking?!”,”wait!!!thought it was just me”and on and on.

    It opened my mind to see troubled and broken men who found grace in the face of I AM and I came to understand that there wasn’t a time I AM did not come through.
    That alone sparked up my dose of confidence that when I get tossed in the wind admidst the rain, I could  always find peace in the one that turns things in time and rhythm. I AM.


I Will Keep At It Even When Faith Becomes Work

While writing “Eating In The Midst Of A Storm( )”, I never knew a storm was rolling my way.
Leaving the doctors office today, I could literally see my dreams spilling right out on the high way. It was like an effervescence of dreams, leaving no precipitate behind.
The Doctor said I had Steatosystoma Multiplex also known as Sebocystomatosis, its a benign autosomal dominant congenital condition resulting in multiple cysts on a persons body( find out more here> )
It literally doesn’t have a cure or so they said, you know all these probability medical stuffs, okay so it can at least be controlled by incision and drainage, laser surgery and so and so. The good news is that they always come back again so its like a forever continuous process.
So I ask myself, How do I eat in this storm? I keep going back to my previous writings like Dear God ( ) to draw out strength because faith has become work, serious work. I keep hearing that voice in my head telling me “You preach Faith but how come your faith isn’t strong enough to clear this?” Huh? “You preach healing how come you aren’t healed yet?”
This wasn’t my first Doctor appointment, neither was it my 3rd or 5th; a lot of them had had no idea what these things were. I remember a doctor once diagnosing me with.Lipid-something(can’t even remember the name) With a series of incisions and draining,weeks of healing but still they came back. Another Doctor said I had high cholesterol, that scared me like crazy, when I went for a cholesterol test I was totally normal. Loosing shows to this SM hasn’t been funny, with my manager telling me I had better clear them.
I keep asking myself “how do I eat in this storm?”. I want to be like David, looking back at past victories and facing the giant head-strong.
I want to be like the three Hebrew men, stepping into the fire without loosing their faith.
I want to be like Joseph, with dreams never dying.
I want to wear a sleeveless shirt when the weather gets too hot and not having to worry about answering questions of “what are those?”
I want to go for the next castings without the designer demanding a Doctors report.
You see, I’m forced to ask so many crazy questions but I choose to differ. I’ve known Jesus way to long not to know that He is up to something. I know He hears me when ever I speak, I know He hears when I tell Him about this, with that in mind I know He is up to something.
So while He is up there making testimonies out of me I’ll be down here spreading His words like He said I should, never stop talking about His diverse healing, never stop talking about faith and never stop sharing his testimonies.
I’m glad I finally know what the name is (steatocystoma multiplex).
So next time when I talk to Jesus, I’ll call it by its name.
This “Peace be still” goes out to that storm that has been tossing my boat.

When the sky be full of rain

The earth is hard
It can’t be tilled 
  A little moist would do the drill
So we wait
  For the birth the sky promised.

  The barns are empty
Knees grow feeble
  Tho hope be unstable 
Still we wait
  For the birth the sky promised.

  Air goes dry
Throats goes sour
  Lips crack up
  Still we wait 
For the birth the sky promised.

  We know for sure
When the sky be full of rain
  Everything is bound to change.
So hold on
  Drop not your guards
Just a little while longer
  And watch the cloud burst forth
With torrents of rain
  To wash down the cracked tears of pain

that’s what happens
      The sky be full of rain.

#Harmattan inspiratio….


Do you ever wonder
Why we have to hurt
When we have a God
That loves us!!!

We love the sound of laughter
And the merriment of cheer

Our hearts would lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.

All the pain we are feeling
Is just the hurt before the healing
The dark before the morning

Once we feel
The waves of glory
All our pains
Would fade to memory

Or Maybe
I don’t know.

But I know this:
Just because we don’t feel him moving
Doesn’t mean He’s not there
At the end
He makes all things
Work together for good
If we but love
So let not the worries
Get the best of you
‘Cause right from the valley
He will see you through.

Happy first of November
Make the best of it